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- Date: December 31, 2016
Dirty viking danila
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Just now, I went to see the long-announced Viking mega blockbuster.
The film is positioned by the authors as historical.
At the same time, the authors of the citizens did not skimp on the compliments themselves, calling him even before the release of the “film document” of the era of the formation of Ancient Russia, neither more nor less.
Given the specifics of their hobbies, it was impossible to pass by this.
Especially when you consider that the creators of this masterpiece have worked on it for 7 years.
After all, seven years is a time.
The first trailers of the film unequivocally indicated that, in essence, there was no need to expect any particular historicism from it.
When the pre-premier trailer came out with a certain character with a sledgehammer running out of the barn, everything became completely clear.
As you know, in order to understand that the soup is prokis, it is not necessary to eat the entire pan.
And, of course, if it was just a commercial project of the Central Partnership Bondarchuk firms and Mikhalkov’s studio, I wouldn’t have done it.
But here the situation is such that the film was made by these people for state money received from the Cinema Foundation.
And this money, in the amount of 1.25 billion rubles, was taken out of the pockets of each of us.
Therefore, I decided to go and see. What they took for me for the money the famous creators.
The essence of the film is simple. The main outline of the events was taken from the Tale of Times, where one brother of the future Prince Vladimir first died - Oleg, then Vladimir takes Polotsk by storm and takes Rogneda as his wife, then goes to Kiev and kills Yaropolk's brother there. After that, he fights with the Pechenegs and prevents his sister, the Byzantine emperor, from being besieged by Korsun. Where, after taking, is baptized.
These are facts.
And they are set out in the film more or less in turn.
The story is on behalf of Sveneld.
Sveneld, so, was a colleague of Svyatoslav, the father of Vladimir.
However, this did not embarrass the creators and in the film he became Vladimir’s mentor. Than his real mentor Dobrynya did not please the creators - it is not clear. If the cinema Sveneld were called Dobrynya, nothing in the film would change that.
Behind the scenes, Sveneld tells about what is happening, so that we can understand what is happening.Without his narration, it is impossible to understand what the characters are doing.
A little about the entourage of the film.
In spite of the fact that the film claims two historical consultants, and the filmmakers publicly admitted that they traveled half of Europe to create images and costumes - all the characters in the film walk in shit.
No, you heard right.
Princes of Kievan Rus, they get up straight in the morning and immediately climb into the shit. To go clean is not accepted. The entire population of Kievan Rus, their neighbors the Vikings and the Pechenegs - the whole film is covered from head to toe.
It is understandable. From the point of view of the modern creator, the inexorable intellectual and democratic journalist, the Russian people, in principle, always and everywhere go this way.
Princes in the mud, their warriors in the mud, there is no question of extras at all, it looks like the scaffold beggars. Although, according to the plot of the film, everything unfolds strictly in the capitals. In Polotsk - the capital of the principality and in Kiev - the capital of an even more serious principality.
There is no point in talking about armor and weapons Everything has been done so disgustingly that everyone who is at least minimally familiar with the materiel of the Early Middle Ages will cry with tears of blood.Almost all the characters walk in leather armor copied from the TV series "Vikings".
Actually, from this series copied a lot. Tattoos on the faces of the Vikings, computer drakkary, almost every scene is secondary like cow dung on the road. You do not leave the feeling that you have already seen it somewhere and it was better.
Let's go back to the story.
The film begins with the fact that on the hunt Vladimir Oleg's brother meets with his brother Yaropolk. Dumps from him in his native Polotsk, but on the way he falls from the bridge to death.
Of course, Yaropolk blames it ... Sveneld!
This is logical.
After all, Sveneld was with Oleg, which means he was to blame for the death of the prince. And not the pursuit of the warriors of Yaropolk himself.
Sveneld begin to execute. They want to cut off the head.
And here he turns the well-known trick with chopping off hands holding his hair.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
We read about this in the sagas. Even the direct participants in this situation are known. Where it was and what followed.
But here it is not important, the creators liked the idea and it was inserted into the film.
Why not put in a jump from the ship Olaf Trygvassona, I ask you? And why no one from the Vikings jumps into the water with a cry “Behind me, people of Bui !!!” Why didn't they throw stones at anyone in the battle on ships? Why didn't anyone break their jaw with a blow of a shield ?!
The Scandinavian sagas are full of beautiful episodes. Could insert more, I think.
Sveneld is not executed. After focusing, his hair is released and he threatens to return.
After a while he will return to Polotsk with Prince Vladimir.
Vladimir wants to marry Rogneda, and she refuses him in a rude manner.
Rogneda is the daughter of a Scandinavian and goes to Scandinavian. Daring, like a bullet sharp.
If you also take into account that the cute actress was picked up - this is the only character in the film who causes sympathy.
After an unintelligible butting in the mud, Vladimir’s people take Polotsk.
Vladimir in the film plays Danila Kozlovsky. Danila, after numerous roles of dudes and drug addicts, plays himself. His prince Vladimir is packed up with the Vikings of mushroom decoction for combat madness.
But for some reason it comes from the Vikings, but he does not. He walks among the objects flying in battle and pins him. Pins are not childish.
Therefore, he has no time to fight.
Here the battle ends and Vladimir is invited to rape Rogneda.
In the film, two bed scenes of Vladimir and Rogneda. The first is rape, the second is sort of for love.
In both scenes, Danila has sex with a woman without removing her pants.Without taking off his pants, on which, it can be clearly seen - not even the fly.
Tolley Danila deceived his comrades and strongly pretended, felts ... I am even afraid to imagine the power of Danila.
We watched version 18+. Therefore, in the sex of Vladimir and Rogneda there were Sisi and a little bit of shaved head shaved writing. Why not added shaggy Vladimirych - not clear.
The scene of violence is disgusting. However, it should be so. At the end the prince (monsieur !!!! PRINCE !!!!!) - vomits and falls asleep in the courtyard of the fortress, on the ground in the mud !!!
The prince. In the dirt on the street. In the newly captured city. Under the influence of fungi and vomit.
That is how the creators of the picture imagine the founder of Russia. Apparently, they represented how they themselves would have noted the taking of the fortress.
Vladimir's arrival in Kiev is full of illogicalities.
Then you and the arrival Yaropolkak him wonder why. The murder of Yaropolk is incomprehensible by whom and the wonderful acting game of Danila with the corpse of his brother.
Ie, dude (monsieur !!! PRINCE !!!!) ordered the murder of a brother. His loyal people cut a brother in his eyes. After that, he grabs the corpse, whirls around with it, rolls into blood and sobs! Crying, smearing all over the face. In front of their people.
So what do you think?
How long would such a person have remained a prince in those hard times?
But Danila is forgiven.
There are incomprehensible people who are going to take revenge on him for Yaropolk. They shave their heads by smearing them with mud from a puddle and cutting off the mud from their heads along with their hair. That they so swear to revenge forever. As our ancestors, the glorious Cossacks !!! Probably.
And go to the Pechenegs.
Pechenegs in the film are excellent. As was rightly noted S.YU. Cain, if they were to distribute rifles, it would be possible to remove the drama about basmachs immediately. So as not to get up twice.
Basmachi galloping on horses, screaming scary.
Together with the avengers, they go to take Kiev, where they almost take it, but then they show actress Khodchenkova out of the window and promise to release her guts if they don’t stop.
They immediately stop.
The film perfectly shows the pagan beliefs of the Slavs.
It goes without saying that the priest is an ardent fanatic who is also deaf and dumb. All his minions and henchmen are shaved naked and all in shit.
The high place is a group of ugly chumps with horrible, gnarled images of what is unclear.
The creators did not bother themselves even with images of Torah and Freyr of which the overdocher is known. They did not glance at the wood carving of Borre, Yelling, and Urnes.Or at least Zbruchsky Idol impressed. NOT.
Their high places are ugly, disgusting and miserable. For a minute - the main temple of the country. The place where Prince Svyatoslav celebrated.
Vladimir wants to make human sacrifices, but this is also obtained through the GEP.
Instead of the normal sacrifice of running, the vigilante Fyodor saving his son from the priests and their death with them in the tower (FOLDED !!!!) tower !!!
In the besieged city, the priests, in order to kill one person as a sacrifice, without steaming, in general, demolish one of the defensive towers!
And how else, ask our contemporary ?!
This is dark paganism, what!
The scene of the battle of siege sketched from the battle in the movie "Gladiator".
Running Dzhigurda out of the trailer in the film itself did not decide anything. He was stupidly killed after 10 seconds.
There is no logic in the development of battle scenes.
Of the helmets on the heads of all those involved - Goblink North and Goblink Ordinary. No black graves for you, Kazazovo and, God forgive me, Gyormund-by.
Skating on shit, tantrums, running around.
The total number of extras in combat scenes - a maximum of 100 people. The rest is drawn by a computer so that it is immediately visible - it is drawn. Moreover, it is striking.Much more than the cardboard Scots in the back ranks of William Wallace's warriors in the famous film.
The defenders of Kiev down on the Pechenegs burning wheels in gasoline. Everything is burning, all magnus .. c.
In the morning, the Romans come and go Pechenegs.
Vladimir is offered to take Korsun by assault, and he demands Anna, the Emperor's sister.
Romes are tricky and clean.
This is because they are not heathens! And you thought!
Vladimir collects all of their 50 kinovoinov and goes storming Korsun.
They are laying siege to the city and are looking for water supply to cut off the water defenders of the city.
They are looking for plumbing, KARL !!!!, on a stone mountain three kilometers from the city!
And surprisingly, FIND !!!
Here's how you think of what did the Romans water pipes ?!
They are steel, Karl!
And under good pressure!
The guys are finally washing up a little.
And then, out of nowhere, reappear avengers Jaropolk. And then we forgot about them already.
They come with the Pechenegs and invited Vladimir to fight them.
On foot, Vladimir soldiers do not shine in battle with the Pechenegs on horseback.
Therefore, they barricaded themselves on the mountain ?!
Before that, they dragged their ships to the mountain.
(Brief retreat.If you drag the ship out of the water immediately to the mountain, and even in the summer in the Crimea, your ship from there will only get firewood. All his bottom will tear from shrinkage. But the creators do not know, so ... dragged!)
And then the Vikings and Russians undertake the most logical from the point of view of the creators.
They push the ships from the mountain and ride them into the thick of battle!
Of course, the Pechenegs are crushed.
Still would. On them on ships from the mountains some idiots slid.
Vladimir himself, as is customary in this film, does not fight in any fight. He again walks lost on a mountain, until one of the avengers attacks him for Yaropolk, whom he beats with a stone. The sword on the belt Danila wears for beauty and for women to threaten. To fight to prince Danilo zapadlo.
Plumbing destroyed, the city surrenders.
Vladimir is baptized.
There is just a heartbreaking scene of repentance. Kozlovsky played so that I sobbed.
I sobbed and thought, Lord !!!!! Why why, why do they take off such shit over and over again? !!!!
Is this prince a winner ?!
Is this the prince of the unifier of lands ?!
Is it a person?
This is a miserable polupoker who goes all the time lost, everyone is being hurt by him, the women don't give him and he is dirty all the time. Kiev prince.
Basically, the film could be finished on the stage in the church.
But, the creators wanted to show ... it is not clear what.
Therefore, there is a scene in which Sveneld teaches Vladimir to blunt the emperor with a gangsta-style knife.
Vladimir refuses and Sveneld openly denounces him. And almost in a literal sense. But, our prince is not proud. He is now a servant of God and will not take revenge on anyone, not even a voice-over.
The film ends with a scene where joyful Kievans in clean shirts are baptized in the Dnieper. Danila is finally with a washed head.
What we have in the end.
We have frankly Russophobic, anti-state cinema. In which Prince Vladimir is exposed to a worthless degenerate. His squad - a gang of mixed tribes. His people - a bunch of zombies digging in the shit. For a minute - these are all your ancestors.
And all this - for your money, dear Russians.
Dirty viking Danila 24Warez.Ru
Dirty viking Danila 24Warez.Ru
Dirty viking Danila 24Warez.Ru
Dirty viking Danila 24Warez.Ru
Dirty viking Danila 24Warez.Ru